Lucy's Lists: 5 Things That Are Bugging Me This Week

A vent session weeks in the making.

I’m in a mood.

Not a bad one per se, but certainly not a great one. It probably started Sunday night when I slept on the floor/in a crib while my daughter worked through a ruptured ear drum—obviously she had a worse start to her week, but it’s of course set me back and made me a bit of a grouch.

What’s funny is this is probably one of the lightest work weeks I’ve had in a few months. So I should be skipping around my house, doing all the things I’ve wanted to do or nothing at all and feeling great. But alas, less to do has given me more time to stress about the other stuff.

And it’s raining. I love that the heat wave is over but a gloomy week does not help ones mood.

So I’m going to take a minute to vent about the five, very mundane and first-world-problem focused, things that are bugging me at this very minute.

Enjoy. (And no, I didn’t check for spelling or errors so read at your own risk)

5 Things That Are Bugging Me This Week

1. Bravo’s Weekly TV Schedule

   This is something that bugs me often, but as we enter into the second week of RHOSLC (thank goodness it’s back), I awoke on this gloomy Tuesday relieved I at least had that to look forward to….only to realize it’s a WEDNESDAY SHOW. Why?? It is clearly not a Wednesday show, it belongs on Tuesdays and possibly Sundays but since RHOP is returning, I can accept Tuesdays because RHOP is 1000% a Sunday show…but they keep screwing things up and it’s bothering me. And don’t even get me started on RHOC on Thursdays….someone was clearly drunk when they slotted that one.

   So here is the correct lineup for those who care:

   —SUNDAYS: RHOA or RHOP. Shahs if Shahs was still a thing and RHONJ, of course. RHOSCL could have gone here but RHOP is returning so it’s okay.

   —MONDAY: Below Deck…. any below deck and RHOC. And Summer House used to give Monday vibes but I did enjoy its move to Thursday so really….it’s Below Deck’s day. And VPR if it ever comes back.

   —TUESDAY: RHOBH or RHOSLC. RHOC could have gone here but they chose Thursday and I’ll never understand. Never. It’s a West Coast, Housewives only, day and I’ve just found out they’re going to put RHONY HERE—WHICH MEANS RHOBH WILL GO SOMEWHERE ELSE…..I’M ANNOYED AGAIN.

   —WEDNESDAY: RHOBH belongs here or RHONY. If RHONJ needed to go somewhere other than Sunday, it could live here, but that’s ONLY if it’s airing the same time as RHOA or RHOP and even then, make them go back to back. VPR and The Valley can also exist here. And RHOD (Dubai, not Dallas, obvi)…but again, it’s currently RHOSLC day which will force RHONY and RHOBH elsewhere.

   —THURSDAY: Project Runway. Firs and foremost, this is Project Runways day. THEN it’s RHONY’s, THEN it’s Summer House. Basically, if it’s filmed in NYC it goes here but someone got drunk on power and screwed the whole thing up yet again and it’s ruined my days of the week. I’m constantly confused.

   FRIDAY/SATURDAY: Obviously no new shows here but can someone PLEASE for the love of ALL THAT IS GOOD, put some good movies here? And not Talladega Nights or Bride Wars. Get creative—make Bravo Fridays for millennials what Disney Fridays were for us as children.

2. Fall Transition Wardrobes/Fall Shoes:

   This isn’t a huge deal, it’s just an ongoing one. Stop saying fall transition wardrobes. It lasted three weeks and you almost tricked me into buying a whole fifth season of clothing. It’s Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter. That’s it.

   In terms of shoes, this year I feel confident that I understand the fall shoe trends, and I happen to like most of them, but I can’t seem to commit. And all I really want is this pair of overpriced red velvet loafers from Tuckernuck and….I can’t do it. They’re so cute and I’ll love them, but I could get three cheap and problem shitty shoes for their price and so…I’m annoyed with fall shoes.

3. PEOPLE WHO SET THEIR PHONES UP TO THEN PRETEND TO WALK CANDIDLY THROUGH THE SHOT LIKE THEY DIDN’T KNOW THE PHONE WAS THERE—ESPECIALLY IN PUBLIC

   I realize I’m attacking an alarmingly large percentage of the influencer community here and I might be considered apart of that community but…I want my membership revoked. I can’t sit silently and watch other person stage their phone in a target aisle and then casually walk in front of it like they’re in some documentary and didn’t know when the camera was filming. I am the queen of romanticizing my life, I am the star of the film playing in my head, but unless you’re really giving me a full movie to watch…I can’t handle it anymore. I don’t know whether to laugh or scream.

4. Books

   Obviously I’m not anti books…it’s just none of them have captured my attention lately. I reread Nora Goes Off Script last week so I could feel something again and let me tell you—it’s just as good the fifth (maybe more) time as it was the first, maybe even better.

   But I’m in a book rut—I still need to finish the second Fourth Wing but instead I reread the first. I need a new romance but I keep finding TRASH, trash I won’t rake over the coals because I don’t want to publicly rip someone apart for doing the thing I dream of doing (writing a romance)—they’re doing the damn thing and so I will keep buying! And it makes me mad that I can’t enjoy silly, painfully cheesy books for what they are. I wish I could, I wish I could let go, but even some of the characters names lately have infuriated me. Where are the Sarahs! The Kates! Millennial representation has been pushed to the wayside for Chauncy and Flora and Lilly Bloom who owns a flower shop (I SAID WHAT I SAID) What sucks is there are plenty of writers I love doing great things but 98% of them release books in the spring so here I am with five unfinished books and I feel mad about it.

5. Funks, In General

   Getting to the end of this ranty list brought on by my own funk I realized that #5 has to be funks overall. I hate being in a funk. I hate that this funk came when I should feel the least funky. I was head down the last few weeks, multitasking like a billionaire with thirty businesses and a secret family on every coast when in fact I’m just very normal, very loyal (I’d never have a secret family), but very tired.

   Looking at the big picture, I feel very blessed. I feel very loved and lucky and happy. It’s just the weekly pictures where I think “gosh why didn’t I do that today?” or “am I really going to make tacos again?” or “next week I’ll buy new makeup, once I figure out what makeup I want”….I’m a procrastinator at heart and, while I can’t procrastinate as much now with two kids, I sense I’m procrastinating my personal list of to-dos and dreams and needs and that has…put me in a funk.