2025: You're Supposed To Be The Leading Lady In Your Own Life For God's Sake

The Year of Manifestation

My therapist and I discussed this (we discussed a lot this week) and this year she’s encouraged me to embrace being cheesy…and I think she’s onto something.

You might be surprised to hear this if you follow me on IG (maybe you won’t), that chaotic energy floating about and total lack of any real self-editing has the appearance of someone unbothered by expectations and perfections, but I will tell you…I am extremely bothered, mostly by the idea of failing. Of overpromising and underdelivering. Of disappointing anyone, most of all myself, which has all led to a complacency in life where I stay in the Idea Phase, optimizing for minimum risk and virtually zero chance of failure. Some (me) would call it staying stagnant.

What’s funny is I haven’t always been this way — I moved to Chicago on a whim, started my account just because. I am one of those extroverted introverts who can do the social things well, talk to strangers and small talk, but become completely depleted afterwards and will overanalyze every second of the interaction (this happens after posting non stop for some pop culture breaking news story too lol). But at some point— I think the point where your mid-fuck-around-and-find-out-twenties turn into your late-stop-fucking-around-twenties and then turn into your early-I-need-to-stop daydreaming-and-be-an-adult-now-thirties, coupled with popping out a few kids and having their future and needs factor into literally every waking (and non-waking) thought…I turned chicken. Whatever things felt indulgent or more personal than necessary, they lived solely in my own head, left to live in the drafts. All out of the fear of failing and looking stupid. Of waisting my time trying something vs wasting it dreaming.

In many ways, that’s normal. Some of those insanely delusional dreams (my friendship with Jennifer Lawrence, a MET Gala invite, winning the lottery and starting a sanctuary for old dogs) are meant to be just a dream. It’s the other stuff that eats away at me. That I waste time thinking about.

Well, I’m ready to stop thinking and look stupid (to an extent).

I’m a pressure cooker of expectations and self criticism. I do not give credit where it’s due when it comes to my own wins, no matter how small or big. These aren’t things that’ll change overnight or possibly in the next year, but if I’ve learned anything from therapy it’s that starting is the hardest part, but once you start…the payouts can be continuous. And they don’t have to be as literal as I’ve made them out to be.

So I’m embracing cheesy. And corny. And being the main character in my own life. And, with all that, I’m sure some “failing”.

My first act of cheesy/corny vibes — a Manifestation Board. Now, you might be saying “Lucy, this is a very standard and not at all cheesy thing to do” BUT to do this AND publicly share it…it’s essentially saying “LOOK HOW DELULU I’M BEING!!!” “WATCH ME ENTER MY FLOP ERA!!” It feels like I’m giving everyone a front row seat to see me NOT achieve some very private and personal (and LOFTYYYYY) dreams. And yes, I could just not share it, that’s the obvious answer…but then I’m once again leaning into letting things live in my head. There’s zero accountability in my head, I’ve accepted at least three Academy Awards in there, it can’t be trusted. And while I’m not saying anyone will be looking at this Manifestation Board closely and messaging me in six months to check in, it will be out there. And that feels like an important shift I need to make?

Yes, I realize I've over thought this. But that’s the intent of this post—to slowly stop overthinking things. This is just the first step. So without further ado…(I used Canva for those who will ask!)

My 2025 Manifestation Board

We’ve got a lot of quotes—a lot of positive self talk, something I’m working on. I’ve got the Father of the Bride house because, yup, we want to buy a house and that’s the one I aspire to have!! Original, I know! Overly ambitious, definitely! And, as warned, DELULU.

I’ve got girls’ nights and gardens and dancing in the rain and food to fill those small moments I need to embrace and, of course, so many vague and even some overt references to the dream of writing something which is as cheesy/corny/personal as I can get.

If you take anything from this post, I hope it’s to lean into some of your delusions. The small ones like making time for a monthly mahjong night and pretending you won’t have to cancel half the time because someone is sick, and the big ones like quitting your job or moving across the country or picking up a paint brush or a power tool. Some delusions are good. Some aren’t that delusional at all, they just might not be in within the harsh timeline you’ve set for yourself and they might not look exactly as you envisioned (i.e. Father of the Bride House).

One of the biggest lessons I've taken from my therapist is the pie theory—we’ve all got the same pie, the same amount of time, we just slice it differently. Kids, work, family, chores, friends…the list goes on and on and that’s just the basic stuff. That doesn’t include the personal things you’re trying to shove in there too—reading, TV, a girls night, a dream. Often times I find myself slicing my pie a little too thin, giving slivers of myself to too many things and only realizing after the fact that I can’t give what I need to elsewhere.

What we forget is we can rebake the pie. Adjust the slices. Some days, some weeks, some months, we’re going to burn the pie and have to throw the whole thing in the trash. And that’s okay. You’re allowed to adjust what you need to give and where. That doesn’t mean you can’t add things back or reslice the pie or even redo the whole thing, and you can’t expect people to slice their pie the same way.

So be cheesy. Be corny. Bake a pie.

(You knew I couldn’t leave 2024 behind without another analogy!)